09 Oct What We Need to Understand About Emotions
by Kalika Yap
At last week’s Harvard-Westlake Mindfulness Club session, mindfulness teacher Brian Shiers led Part 1 of Understanding Emotions, a gentle and illuminating look at how emotions work, what they communicate, and how mindfulness helps us listen more deeply.
He opened by saying,
Emotions are not enemies. They’re not signs that something’s wrong with us. They’re messages, information from the body about what matters most.
He reminded us that emotions are not random; they’re intelligent signals designed to keep us connected, alert, and alive.
For no one’s fault, we’ve inherited a lot of confusion about emotions. We’ve learned that some are good, joy, gratitude, excitement, and others are bad, anger, fear, sadness. But every single one of them has intelligence behind it.
When you’re angry, he explained,
your body is trying to protect you. When you’re sad, it’s helping you release and renew. When you feel joy, it’s reminding you to stay connected.
Watch the full session here.
Seeing More Clearly: Body vs. Mind
Brian helped us understand where emotions and feelings live & how we can tell the difference.
Notice what’s happening in the body, and what’s happening in the mind, he said.
I always like to say: emotion, body; feeling, mind. It helps you remember where to look.
Emotions are physical. They arise in the body.
They’re the heartbeat that quickens, the warmth in the face, the tightness in the chest, the flutter in the stomach.
They happen quickly, automatically, and often before the mind has caught up.
Feelings are mental. The stories and meanings we attach afterward.
Instantaneous storytelling in our heads, Brian said,
is where feelings are born.
Recognizing this difference lets us pause before getting swept up in the story. When we sense emotions directly through the body, and notice the mind’s interpretation afterward, we create space to respond rather than react.
I’m Mindful… Now What?
During the session, Brian read from I’m Mindful… Now What? a book that explores how mindfulness continues beyond meditation into the small, tender, and sometimes messy moments of daily life.
Mindfulness isn’t about being calm, it’s about being real.
When we stay present with anger, fear, or sadness without pushing them away, we’re living mindfulness, not performing it.
Emotions are not the problem, our resistance to them is.
After reading, Brian shared
That’s really it. Mindfulness doesn’t stop when the timer ends, it begins when life feels messy.
That moment reminded many of us that mindfulness is not about being untouched by emotion, but about being touched and staying kind through it.
The RAIN Practice
To help us meet our emotions with compassion, Brian shared a simple but powerful tool called RAIN, created by psychologist and meditation teacher Tara Brach.
R – Recognize and relax
If you’re on fire, Brian said, you can do a rain dance. The R stands for Recognize and relax.
A – Accept and allow
Let things just happen. Let things move through you, he said.
I – Investigate the body and investigate your story
Ask: What’s happening in my body? What story am I telling about this?
N – New perspective or non-fusion with your story
At the very least, Brian said, RAIN brings a non-fusion with your story — realizing it’s one of many possible stories.
The goal isn’t to feel better, he reminded us.
It’s to get better at feeling.
Why This Matters
As parents and teachers, how we meet our emotions becomes the model for everyone around us.
We model emotional intelligence not by what we say, Brian said,
but by how we stay. When you can be with your own anger or grief with tenderness, your child learns that feelings aren’t something to fear, they’re something to understand.
A reflection for your week:
Take a quiet moment today to notice one emotion that’s been showing up for you.
Pause, breathe, and ask softly,
What do you need me to know?
Our next mindfulness session with Brian Shiers will be on Friday, November 14, 9am on Zoom https://kalikazoom.com.
Let’s practice together!
Register here
DOWNLOADABLE PDF
Mind vs. Body: Understanding the Difference
Download a quick guide to understanding the difference between emotions and feelings and how tuning into the body before the mind builds awareness.