(And Why Every Parent Should Know)

by Kalika Yap

What a powerful session this week. Brian led us through a rich, cross-training style meditation that moved through several modalities: concentration using the breath (tracking 7 points of each breath cycle), a natural body scan, open awareness, loving-kindness, and closing with personal aspiration.

As Brian guided us into practice, he offered this beautiful reminder:

“By training the mind, we are really connecting with both the surface parts of ourselves and the deepest parts of ourselves.
And that we could influence our entire day just by spending a brief time exploring our experience.”

When we shifted into the heart practice, Brian brought us back to why we do this work:

“You’re doing this because you care. Because you care about yourselves, your family, members of your community.”

That felt like the thread running through the whole morning.

And as he reflected on our basic nature, he said something I keep coming back to:

“We might have all kinds of ideas that could be adjusted, and techniques that could be adjusted.
But the basic nature of who we are and what we are is really good, and it’s so important to connect with that again and again.”

The Research on Digital Media Is Getting Serious

Brian shared a 60 Minutes Australia piece on what researchers are now calling “digital dementia.”

The short-form video cycle (swipe, reward, swipe, reward) is creating structural changes in the brain that mirror MRI patterns seen in dementia patients.

Symptoms include brain fog, fatigue, short-term memory loss, reduced emotion regulation, reduced attention span, decreased pleasure from everyday activities, sleep disruption, and dissociation.

This is no longer just a behavioral concern. It is a neurological one.

Watch the full 60 Minutes Australia segment here: 60 Minutes Australia: Digital Dementia

The Meta and YouTube Verdicts

Brian also walked us through the landmark jury decisions here in LA against Meta and YouTube. The evidence was based not on outside studies, but on the companies’ own internal research.

Over 15 internal studies showed they understood the addictive design of their platforms and continued pushing engagement anyway.

Brian compared it to the RJ Reynolds tobacco cases.

He shared a resource that compiles all of this internal research, which can be a helpful tool for conversations with our kids about how these platforms work and why they are designed the way they are.

Explore Meta’s internal research findings here: metasinternalresearch.org

The Number One Rule

If there is only one change you make at home, Brian says: no technology in the bedroom.

This single boundary, supported by experts including Jonathan Haidt (The Anxious Generation), has the greatest impact on sleep, attention, and overall nervous system health.

As Brian put it:

“The difference is massive. It really is.”

The FEAST Framework (for families with younger kids)

F = Find other families and friends to build a coalition around shared values

E = Educate yourself and exemplify the behavior you want to see

A = Adopt alternatives (dumb phones like Gab, Bark, or Wyze for younger kids)

S = Set family rules and accountability, with your kids participating in what consequences and rewards look like

T = Trade screens for responsibility, real-world tasks, experiences, and freedoms

Using AI with Cognitive Sovereignty

Brian introduced the concept of “cognitive sovereignty,” the ability to maintain self-awareness, agency, and accountability while using AI tools.

New research distinguishes between two types of users:

Co-authors stay inside the thinking process. They integrate AI into their own reasoning and remain aware of what they are doing versus what the tool is doing.

Outsourcers unknowingly hand off their thinking to AI, blending their identity with the tool’s output without staying connected to their own reasoning.

The three keys to maintaining cognitive sovereignty: awareness (can you describe how you’re using AI and how it’s changing your thinking?), intentionality (are you choosing when and why to use it, or is it habitual?), and accountability (are you in relationships where people can reflect back what they notice about your shifting patterns?).

For Parents Talking to Teens About AI

Brian recommended being collaborative, not just directive.

Use AI together.

Run experiments side by side and talk about what you notice.

Help them see the sycophantic patterns (it always flatters, it always asks for more engagement).

A study in the journal Science found that AI chatbots tend to reinforce users’ existing beliefs, making people less willing to consider other perspectives and less willing to repair relationships after disagreements.

Brian’s advice here was simple and grounded:

“Stay curious about how your teen is using AI.”

Looking Ahead: Our Final Gathering

Our next session will be our last Mindfulness Club event under my founding leadership, and I want to make it special.

Please join us for an in-person potluck brunch on Saturday, May 9 at 10:30 AM at my home in Studio City.

Brian will lead us in mindfulness practice, and we will celebrate everything this community has been and look forward to what comes next.

I hope to see all of you there to celebrate the past and look forward to the future together.

Details and RSVP info coming soon.

Thank you for showing up, for practicing, and for caring about this work.

As Brian said,

“It makes a difference. It makes a difference in how we show up.”

DOWNLOADABLE WORKSHEET

Reclaiming Your Attention

A personal reflection and action planning guide based on a recent Mindfulness Club session with Brian Shiers, LMFT.