19 Feb The Good Inside
Love is one of life’s greatest gifts—so natural when it flows freely, yet so challenging when we feel hurt, unseen, or distant from others.
During his recent talk, Loving When It’s Easy, Loving When It’s Hard: A Heartfelt Exploration of the Good Inside Everyone Brian Shiers, shared a beautiful reminder that love isn’t something we must chase or create.
It’s already here.
It’s within us, always waiting to be noticed, nurtured, and expressed.
If you missed the talk you can check it out here!
Love as a Practice
Brian invited us to think of love not as a fleeting feeling, but as something we can grow and strengthen with practice. He blended wisdom from psychology and mindfulness traditions to show us how intentional awareness can expand our capacity for love.
To experience more love in our lives, we don’t have to create it. It’s already here. It’s more like Michelangelo chipping away at the unessential to reveal the beauty beneath.
We often focus on what’s wrong, what needs fixing. But in doing so, we overlook the simple moments of goodness unfolding all around us. Brian reminded us:
We over-index problems. We miss the balance. We miss the goodness.
The Obstacles to Love
When asked about what gets in the way of expressing love, parents shared their experiences: unmet expectations, exhaustion, miscommunication, and self-doubt. Brian gently reassured us that these struggles don’t mean we’re failing at love. They are simply part of being human.
Our ability to express love is like our teeth. Love accumulates debris as we move through life. We must remember to ‘brush’ it—clean away what blocks us from seeing love clearly.
Self-judgment can be one of the toughest barriers.
Without self-love, rejection feels sharper, and our inner critic grows louder.
Brian shared Eckhart Tolle’s insight that ego is “the unobserved thought process itself”—reminding us that when we become mindful of our thoughts, we can loosen their grip and create more space for love.
A Beautiful Reminder from John Makransky
John Makransky, a scholar in Tibetan Buddhism, beautifully captures the essence of love in his book Awakening Through Love:
Every human act is an expression of a basic motivation, a force of intent and will. In any moment that our motivation is narrowed by a brittle self-concern, we’re incapable of being fully present or available for others.
In contrast, at those moments when we are motivated by a genuine impartial care for others, a strong love that actually wishes for those around us to be well and happy, it shifts us into being vividly present and attentive.
We become a genuine help and a port of safety.
The Field of Care Practice
One of the most touching moments of the session was the Field of Care practice. Brian guided us to reflect on the quiet, everyday acts of love that often go unnoticed:
- A stranger letting us merge into traffic.
- A friend holding the door open with a smile.
- A warm conversation over coffee.
- A moment of patience, a kind word, an unexpected gesture of care.
When we pause to recognize these moments, love begins to feel abundant. It’s not something we need to search for—it’s all around us.
You don’t need practice thinking about what’s wrong. You already do that. What you need practice in is noticing the good.
Loving the Difficult People
Perhaps the most moving part of the session was when Brian encouraged us to extend love even to those we find difficult. He guided us through a reflection, It’s all good! minding us that:
- This person, just like me, has hard days.
- This person, just like me, wants to do well
- This person, just like me, sometimes feels unseen or unworthy.
- This person, just like me, wants to love and be loved.
With this shift in perspective, we soften. We remember that beneath our judgments, there is always a shared human experience.
Love Actually
Brian shared a reflection on Love Actually—how the film’s famous airport scene was added post-9/11 as a reminder that, even in challenging times, love persists.
As you go about your days, we invite you to slow down and notice the love that’s already present in your life. Who smiled at you today? Who offered you kindness? Who did you offer kindness to?
Blindfold Guy Gives Hugs
Brian shared a touching video that perfectly captures the power of kindness and human connection. It made me cry!
You can watch it here: Watch the Video
Let’s keep practicing. Let’s keep softening. Let’s keep making space for love—not just when it’s easy, but especially when it’s hard.
We hope to see you at Brian’s next talk on Friday, March 14. Register here.
Let’s practice together.
Wishing you love and light always
Chair, Harvard-Westlake Mindfulness Club